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Just telling it like it is! 
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Joined: Sun Apr 15, 2012 6:16 pm
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Post Just telling it like it is!
An oldie but a goodie from George Carlin....


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Wed Aug 10, 2011 7:41 am
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http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/fe ... 184622.ece
- or -
http://www.geekologie.com/2009/01/unhap ... asseng.php

Letter sent to Richard Branson by a disgruntled passenger - if you want to see the pics look at link above.


Dear Mr Branson

REF: Mumbai to Heathrow 7th December 2008

I love the Virgin brand, I really do which is why I continue to use it despite a series of unfortunate incidents over the last few years. This latest incident takes the biscuit.

Ironically, by the end of the flight I would have gladly paid over a thousand rupees for a single biscuit following the culinary journey of hell I was subjected to at the hands of your corporation.

Look at this Richard. Just look at it: [see image 1, above].

I imagine the same questions are racing through your brilliant mind as were racing through mine on that fateful day. What is this? Why have I been given it? What have I done to deserve this? And, which one is the starter, which one is the desert?

You don't get to a position like yours Richard with anything less than a generous sprinkling of observational power so I KNOW you will have spotted the tomato next to the two yellow shafts of sponge on the left. Yes, it's next to the sponge shaft without the green paste. That's got to be the clue hasn't it. No sane person would serve a desert with a tomato would they. Well answer me this Richard, what sort of animal would serve a desert with peas in: [see image 2, above].

I know it looks like a baaji but it's in custard Richard, custard. It must be the pudding. Well you'll be fascinated to hear that it wasn't custard. It was a sour gel with a clear oil on top. It's only redeeming feature was that it managed to be so alien to my palette that it took away the taste of the curry emanating from our miscellaneous central cuboid of beige matter. Perhaps the meal on the left might be the desert after all.

Anyway, this is all irrelevant at the moment. I was raised strictly but neatly by my parents and if they knew I had started desert before the main course, a sponge shaft would be the least of my worries. So lets peel back the tin-foil on the main dish and see what's on offer.

I'll try and explain how this felt. Imagine being a twelve year old boy Richard. Now imagine it's Christmas morning and you're sat their with your final present to open. It's a big one, and you know what it is. It's that Goodmans stereo you picked out the catalogue and wrote to Santa about.

Only you open the present and it's not in there. It's your hamster Richard. It's your hamster in the box and it's not breathing. That's how I felt when I peeled back the foil and saw this: [see image 3, above].

Now I know what you're thinking. You're thinking it's more of that Baaji custard. I admit I thought the same too, but no. It's mustard Richard. MUSTARD. More mustard than any man could consume in a month. On the left we have a piece of broccoli and some peppers in a brown glue-like oil and on the right the chef had prepared some mashed potato. The potato masher had obviously broken and so it was decided the next best thing would be to pass the potatoes through the digestive tract of a bird.

Once it was regurgitated it was clearly then blended and mixed with a bit of mustard. Everybody likes a bit of mustard Richard.

By now I was actually starting to feel a little hypoglycaemic. I needed a sugar hit. Luckily there was a small cookie provided. It had caught my eye earlier due to it's baffling presentation: [see image 4, above].

It appears to be in an evidence bag from the scene of a crime. A CRIME AGAINST BLOODY COOKING. Either that or some sort of back-street underground cookie, purchased off a gun-toting maniac high on his own supply of yeast. You certainly wouldn't want to be caught carrying one of these through customs. Imagine biting into a piece of brass Richard. That would be softer on the teeth than the specimen above.

I was exhausted. All I wanted to do was relax but obviously I had to sit with that mess in front of me for half an hour. I swear the sponge shafts moved at one point.

Once cleared, I decided to relax with a bit of your world-famous onboard entertainment. I switched it on: [see image 5, above].

I apologise for the quality of the photo, it's just it was incredibly hard to capture Boris Johnson's face through the flickering white lines running up and down the screen. Perhaps it would be better on another channel: [see image 6, above].

Is that Ray Liotta? A question I found myself asking over and over again throughout the gruelling half-hour I attempted to watch the film like this. After that I switched off. I'd had enough. I was the hungriest I'd been in my adult life and I had a splitting headache from squinting at a crackling screen.

My only option was to simply stare at the seat in front and wait for either food, or sleep. Neither came for an incredibly long time. But when it did it surpassed my wildest expectations: [see image 7, above].

Yes! It's another crime-scene cookie. Only this time you dunk it in the white stuff.

Richard.... What is that white stuff? It looked like it was going to be yoghurt. It finally dawned on me what it was after staring at it. It was a mixture between the Baaji custard and the Mustard sauce. It reminded me of my first week at university. I had overheard that you could make a drink by mixing vodka and refreshers. I lied to my new friends and told them I'd done it loads of times. When I attempted to make the drink in a big bowl it formed a cheese Richard, a cheese. That cheese looked a lot like your baaji-mustard.

So that was that Richard. I didn't eat a bloody thing. My only question is: How can you live like this? I can't imagine what dinner round your house is like, it must be like something out of a nature documentary.

As I said at the start I love your brand, I really do. It's just a shame such a simple thing could bring it crashing to it's knees and begging for sustenance.

Yours Sincererly

XXXX

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Wed Aug 10, 2011 8:07 am
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Post Re: Just telling it like it is!
Lee wrote:
An oldie but a goodie from George Carlin....


When you can make the depressing truth funny, you know you've arrived at the top. My hat is off to this brilliant observer of human nature.

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Fri Aug 12, 2011 6:15 am
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Im afraid ladies and gentlemen that we are about the amount of real matter as in a atom. The rest is indeed empty space. I would submit that this is due to our own negligence and through a supported system wanting to keep us in this state. It could be argued that our entire Lexicon, Emotional Dynamics are nothing more then a Scheme to keep us in Denial. All our roads to conclusions in dissecting reality are just fractals of the same Prison system. We are Ghosts thinking we are real.

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Tue Feb 07, 2012 4:43 am
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Chicodoodoo wrote:
Lee wrote:
An oldie but a goodie from George Carlin....


When you can make the depressing truth funny, you know you've arrived at the top. My hat is off to this brilliant observer of human nature.


Hi Chico,

Just want you to know that I'm loyal to the friends I make. I've made friends there at Nexus, so I will stand by them. And I have made your friendship and I'm standing by you. I'm going to contribute to both forums ... let's make this place the best it can be as a place for all truths, the hards truths, soft truths, in-between truths, etc. ... without being set afire with emotions as we humans are prone to do - all of us without exception.

I really appreciate the vigor in your logic. Keeps me from becoming too lazy when applying the analytical process to arguments, myself.

cheers.

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Wed Feb 08, 2012 1:01 am
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Thanks, Zook! I'm missing the "thanks" button that Vbulletin forums have when I read a post like yours. Maybe it's better to have to write out a response after all. You have to be a bit more thankful to do that than click the mouse.

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Wed Feb 08, 2012 8:40 am
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It's good to see Zook on board. I am brand new here as well being invited by Chico. I personally don't believe you can have an intelligent forum if the pyramid of it isn't overshadowed by the Golden Rule. Such a pyramid (if there must be one) will boast of win/win by all beneath it.

I like dealing with people who are serious about seeking truth. Only those who have adequate "vigor" (as Zook put it) will ever see the other side of deception. Any of us really only see the need to pursue truth when we become aware of being drowned in the sea of deception.


Thu Feb 09, 2012 6:05 pm
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The Pyramid is like an unyielding fungus that wont stop. Much like how your immune system works in your body fighting disease. Any "Club" will form a Pyramid even if there is Eternal Vigilance. The Club would have to be tough enough to risk itself to find itself, changing leaders regulary and having those Leaders at the least show Real time Dynamics of being out of control. Zook has lost his integrity as far as im concerned with his Dialogue, to much peackeeping, redirection and towing the line to Sift what is true or not. He is indebted to the Nexus Forum and uses longetivity and Friendship as means to keep his comfort zone. He is a smart guy so I hope he figures it out one day. I suspect he will just come here and start Jousting his Logic, Joker intellect with Heart relations to empower his POV. Its all good in the Hood as far as im concerned....

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Thu Feb 09, 2012 6:26 pm
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Good to be here, good folks!!!

Let's make this forum the last stand for those who can handle all the truths.

Any ideas how to increase the membership in this crunch of time? I see some excellent posters out there both on Nexus and Avalon. Maybe we can send invites to anyone and everyone that we have access to who may feel stifled by the other forums (for whatever reason). I really would like to get this thing as close to the free range of ideas as possible.

Case in point, I would not let Shipley off that easy here ... though I'm obliged to respect the space there at Nexus. Any man with 9/11/2001 distorted in 2012 ... is not man enough to handle truths, in my humble opinion. Brockbrader is a shmuck, too, IMO. But Shipley is a bigger danger here because he holds the bigger truths in bigger contempt. Anyways, let's see how fast we can build this website up.


cheers
Zook

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Thu Feb 09, 2012 6:29 pm
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magamud wrote:
The Pyramid is like an unyielding fungus that wont stop. Much like how your immune system works in your body fighting disease. Any "Club" will form a Pyramid even if there is Eternal Vigilance. The Club would have to be tough enough to risk itself to find itself, changing leaders regulary and having those Leaders at the least show Real time Dynamics of being out of control. Zook has lost his integrity as far as im concerned with his Dialogue, to much peackeeping, redirection and towing the line to Sift what is true or not. He is indebted to the Nexus Forum and uses longetivity and Friendship as means to keep his comfort zone. He is a smart guy so I hope he figures it out one day. I suspect he will just come here and start Jousting his Logic, Joker intellect with Heart relations to empower his POV. Its all good in the Hood as far as im concerned....



Misperceptions is what is troubling Nexus at the moment, Mags. One loses one's integrity if one holds to the misperceptions. I'm trying to navigate the troubled waters with unity and purpose in mind. One such unity is the friends we collect along the way.

You'll find that I'll take off my soft gloves here to defend any and all truths ... against deliberate attacks and misperceptions alike. :D

Stick around. Give yourself a chance before your own misperceptions get the better of you.

cheers
zook

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Flight that sends into the clouds brings wings to rest upon the boughs. Then further down to the liquid lawn, to serve as sentries for the gliding swan. Curve, a perfect turning of the line between here and Heaven, with extensions into infinitum.


Thu Feb 09, 2012 6:34 pm
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