Some of these aren't funny, but a few of them had me laughing to the point of tears.

Could this be the meaning of life? And what's he doing with his middle finger?

Caption: Life is good.

Lawyers should never ask a Georgia grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.

In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?" She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"

She again replied, "Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him."

The defense attorney nearly died.

The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said,

"If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair."

=====

Funny, I'm from Georgia, too.

Disguised weapons can be useful in a dangerous situation. Here's what happens when you look for them on Craigslist.

Hugh Martin trying to promote himself as a truth-seeker!

Although quite funny, due the the absurdity of being knifed in the thigh by a toddler (or is it really so absurd?), the basic concept behind the cartoon is an interesting illustration of the winning strategy to the Prisoner's Dilemma, which is "tit for tat". This strategy played a starring role in evolution, it seems, specifically the evolution of social dynamics.

I was served this ad on a video I wanted to watch, and I found it brilliant. My compliments to the team that produced it. I've never seen bathroom humor done so "tastefully". It sure hit my funny bone.



This Unicorn Changed the Way I Poop - #SquattyPotty

Got this in my email from a red-neck friend. This is what happens to the language when sociopaths dominate politics.


Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America, Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as HILLBILLIES. You must now refer to them as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS. And furthermore...

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT

1. She is not a BABE or a CHICK - She is a BREASTED AMERICAN.
2. She is not EASY - She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.
3. She is not a DUMB BLONDE - She is a LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.
4. She has not BEEN AROUND - She is a PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.
5. She does not NAG you - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE.
6. She is not a TWO-BIT HOOKER - She is a LOW COST PROVIDER.

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT

1. He does not have a BEER GUT - He has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.
2. He is not a BAD DANCER - He is OVERLY CAUCASIAN.
3. He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME - He INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.
4. He is not BALDING - He is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.
5. He does not act like a TOTAL ASS - He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.
6. It's not his CRACK you see hanging out of his pants - It's REAR CLEAVAGE.

I believe there is only one race among humans, that being the human race. Nevertheless, I sometimes appreciate the humor in racist remarks. This one made me laugh out loud.

-- source